on learning

This is an apology.

I learn a lot. We all do. I learned how to read, write, and speak English. I learned mathematics. I learned that one and one make two, and two and two make five four. I’ve learned how to tie my shoelaces. I’ve learned that shoes without laces are more convenient. I’ve learned how to program in C. I’ve learned that I could make games. And so I’ve learned to do so.

That isn’t to say that I’m finished learning. Far from it! I can’t stop learning, since my brain is so tiny, and existence is so large. How can one take it all in? I want to learn everything, have everything filed away into a neat little cabinet in my noggin. I want to experience everything.

I hate to break it to you, Sam, but that’s not possible.

I can’t learn everything. Nobody can. (Except for this one fellow I know, but he’s not from this planet.) Our brains are not infinite, yet the universe is. And if we can’t even fathom knowing everything in the universe, what if there is something beyond the universe? I can’t take it all in. I want to, but I can’t.

And that sucks.

I can’t learn it all, I’m sorry. I’m only human. I’m trying, but it’s impossible to learn it all. I have to choose what’s important to me. We all should, in my opinion. If you find a subject your calling, please do not hesitate to further your education in that field.

As you may know, I love video games. There is a certain stigma attached to the field. Games? They’re for kids! Adults shouldn’t be bothering with playthings. They should do work. I should be making websites. I should care about mathematical proofs. I should care about context free languages, MIPS, and the whole cornucopia that is computer science. I should care about my education.

I do care, I do! I love that stuff! I just care more about some things. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I don’t like it as much as I like video games. Really.


I’m apologizing to myself, mostly.

I know that learning is essential. I know it, and I want to know everything. I know it’s good to broaden my horizons. But at the end of the day, when my time is so limited, and my stakes so high, I find it acceptable that I choose which roses I’ll stop for. And I advise you to do the same.

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